Failing or Falling…
I often refer to situations as “scary biscuits” when i find them frightening: and never really understood why as i don’t find biscuits in any way, shape, or form scary!!!
Fear is hard-wired for good reason - to keep us safe from real or perceived threats: but it can significantly derail us in showing up as our “best version of ourselves”. Fear is a human response, the responses we embody originate in the primitive part of the brain which triggers the sympathetic nervous system with the release of cortisol. This translates into very tangible physiological responses eg shallow breathing, rapid heartbeats, sweaty palms, tense muscles.
Looking to yoga philosophy we are reminded of the klesha : mental obstacles that lead to suffering
Ignorance (Avidya)
Ego (Asmita)
Raga (Attachment)
Avoidance of pain (Dvesha)
Fear of death (Abhinivesha)
Reflecting my own deep seated fear of falling (which has a huge impact on inversion practice you can imagine) i am drawn to the Ego and Asmita. When we fail, fall our ego takes a bit of a “hit” and our feelings of self worth, self esteem and confidence are dented on the way down, but we desire success do we not: we want seen, our ego tells us?
I think my fear of failing and the fear of falling are one in the same thing: fear of falling is rooted in getting physically hurt, fear of failure is rooted in getting emotionally hurt (and re-enforcing feelings of not being good enough?). So what does fear or either of these things teach me: what is it trying to tell me? How much power am i giving it, how can i take back some of that power?
Well, one way is to accept that i am fearful of falling in inversions, at this point in time, today, in this moment, on the mat and next time it will be different?
Another way is to acknowledge that fear is a protective element in our psyche: accept that, it has saved me many a time!
Another way is to welcome it in, invite it in and say, “ok, i see ya”
Another way is to invite it to join you on your journey into shirshasana, for example, to see how it responds, and to see it as a passenger rather than the driver.
Our fears on the mat are a reflection of those off the mat, but the mat gives us a place to “be” with our fears by:
consistent routine ie our yoga practice challenges our fear of the unknown, repeating patterns in practice develops a counter culture of the “known”: think Ashtanga Primary Series!
taking the fear out of our minds and into our bodies: emobdy it, observe it.
breathing life into the parasympathetic nervous system with pranayama practice
giving us stillness to sit with our fears to enable the brain to hold two images of the same scenario (one scary and one not scary) and for us to return again and again to the not scary scenario so that image stays, and the brain is activated to recall this more easily.
Despite my fear of falling being present in my current yoga practice, it IS the yoga practice that will help me conquer it: this will then enable me to take the found freedom off the mat to help me with the fear of failing!!!
And ultimately is it not just a case of spelling: take out the “I” and they are the same thing or in other words, let the ego GO!
